Accountability partners can also motivate you, and in turn, you can motivate them.Think of it this way: If I’m taking math and having difficulties with the subject, the most important thing for me to do is to not only get help from the teacher (my mentor), but also build a study group in the class. A great strategy would be to get the smartest people in the class, set up a study group, and meet and motivate each other to help each other out.

Let’s say you have a dream or goal that you want to share with other people in your group. They may not share that exact dream, but maybe there is a common thread running amongst you. You’re both looking to manifest something in your lives. One person might not be able to help you directly, but they might know someone who can.

You might encounter this in your everyday life regularly. Just the other day, for example, I happened to be at the shooting range. The gentleman behind the counter complimented me on my shooting, and asked where I had learned to shoot. I thanked him and explained about my experience in the military. He asked me what I currently did for a living. You see, he happened to know someone who owned a security company who was looking for consultants. He passed along the number and connecedt me to somebody, and we both expanded our networks. Each of us opened ourselves up to new opportunities or were acting on behalf of an accountability partners to help them get closer to reaching their life’s goals.

Awareness

If you want to focus on one specific area for self-development, let it be awareness. This is the foundation block upon which to build your improved life. Nothing will change around you if you can’t gain control of what’s inside your head — everything else revolves around that concept. If you’re unaware of your thoughts, and your thoughts are overwhelmingly self-defeating, you’ll project that self-defeat out into the world. When your life is going in the wrong direction, you’ll get upset with yourself, and repeat the same cycle again. Start by simply paying attention to your inner chatter. What kind of words are you using when you are thinking to yourself? Be an active listener to your inner monologue. Creating a higher level of awareness is a fundamental thing you can work on in order to improve yourself.

Procrastination

Procrastination happens to the best of us — in fact, it happens to all of us. One of the biggest enemies of procrastination is a daily routine. Structuring and prioritizing your day really helps you complete the tasks you have in front of you. Another way to beat procrastination is to have a partner — whether it be a life coach, spouse, or friend — who can keep you accountable on your to-do list for the week. This will give you the support and encouragement you need to complete whatever is on your plate. Remember, in order for you to develop yourself, you have to allow yourself to get the things done that you need to do to reach your goals.

Visualizations

Once you come into a sense of awareness, take it a step further with visualizations: See yourself already doing the things you want to do. Visualizations are a powerful force — they help condition your brain to start manifesting the picture you are painting in your mind.

Affirmations

If you want to improve yourself, you don’t want to have negative thoughts. After you become aware, you can start to filter the negative thoughts out of your consciousness and start bringing in positive affirmations. Start with phrases like, “I am,” and “I can.” Affirmations and visualizations go hand in hand by supplying your mind with both the “video” and “audio” of your intentions.

Jay had made a career of selling mufflers — something he had been doing for a very long time. However, Jay always knew that he was meant to do something more. He felt he could accomplish something “bigger” for his life: he wanted to create his own company. Realizing his passion for marketing (especially the online sector), Jay set out as an entrepreneur.

However, Jay was not alone in his vision — he had a support group in the form of a friend who always wanted to do the same thing. As the two began to build their business together, they held each other accountable. With the same end goal in mind, they were able to motivate and encourage each other through the trials and tribulations of starting a company.

Jay now owns one of the best marketing companies in the United States. He went from selling mufflers to living his dreams.

With a success story like this, the common reaction is, “He made something out of nothing!” While it certainly seems that is so, “something” is actually never made out of “nothing.” Jay’s inherent passions and goals were always “there,” in some form. They just weren’t materialized. Through consistent self-development, Jay was able to pinpoint his vision, and then surround himself with people who shared that vision.

The Law of Attraction does not work like a microwave. You can’t just put the idea out and wait a little while for everything to come out just as you envisioned it. It’s a process, and you need to be constantly plugged into that process. Some people do this unconsciously and act on autopilot, attracting the right people to them. Others need to really work at improving their level of awareness, and actively seek out like-minded people.

Obviously, it’s not easy to go from selling mufflers to owning your own multi-million dollar company, but the right combination of self-development, dedication, and consistency made Jay’s path run a little smoother.

Whether it’s losing weight, quitting smoking, or getting out of debt, we somehow think that when the clock strikes midnight, we’ll magically know how to get these areas of our life under control. As a life coach, I’m often approached by people trying to define their own New Year’s resolutions. Here’s my advice: I think your resolution should be to not have a resolution.

Here’s why:

Every day should be a resolution. Every day you wake up, you should have a desire to make something of your life. January 1 is just a day — it doesn’t mean that it’s some magical date when you start working toward your dream. I’m skeptical of New Year’s resolutions because of what normally happens to people who declare them: They don’t finish what they start. What happens then? Do you wait until next January?

People make the same resolutions over and over because they are not seeing every day as an opportunity to make something happen. Awaken your awareness and ask yourself, what areas of my life feel incomplete? Try to think back to a time when you may have been discouraged because you let negative thoughts manifest themselves into your daily life. These thoughts tell us we are not good enough, that we cannot accomplish our goals — and we believe them. What are some ways you can transform those thoughts into positive affirmations the next time they enter your mind?

This awareness can happen on January 1st, or January 2nd, or March 30th, or August 15th. My point is, live in the now. I don’t believe in “next January,” or “last January,” for that matter. Last January is over. New Year’s Day is over. Be present, and realize it’s never too late. YOU decide when your New Year’s Day should be!

You know that if something is too good to be true, it probably isn’t. You have to put in time and sacrifice, and there is no better method of motivation than having somebody who believes in you and keeps you moving forward.

As a life coach, I can speak for myself when I say that I see firsthand the benefits a support system can produce. Coaches in particular can be very useful and efficient with clients, and I love seeing their progress with each visit. But support can come in the form of a family member, a best friend, a co-worker, or a member of your church. Human beings are social beings. We need that touch, that relationship, and if we don’t have it, it’s extremely hard to accomplish our goals.

Behind every successful person is a group of great people, cheering him or her on. Think about the network of Martin Luther King, Jr. and how he relied on them for support, advice, and encouragement.

Or look at the 2008 presidential candidates: Obama had a renowned online-savvy network that connected him to the latest social networks, while McCain was behind the power curve and had to catch up. By being involved with Facebook and Twitter so early on, Obama was able to expand his reach and develop a successful campaign. And what else is a campaign if not a collection of people rallying behind you to get your to your goal, even if that goal is to be President of the United States?

You want to be a doctor? Spending time with people who are satisfied with working at a fast food restaurant will not serve you to achieve your goal, because they won’t hold you accountable. Instead spend a good portion of your time with people who also want to be doctors, as you’ll develop a camaraderie and push each other to stay focused. Find the people who do what you want to do, and hang out with them.

Like we talked about in past entries, it is so easy to get off track. Some might criticize you because they don’t have the passion or drive to do what you’re doing. Those people will only bring you down. A true accountability partner can remind you what your purpose is.

Aim to hang out with people who uplift you and your ideas.

Goal setting. You need to set goals to find your life’s purpose.

I am asked a lot by clients about how they should go about setting goals in order to find their purpose in life. I almost always advise them to flip that question and look at it a different way: How can goal setting help me reach my life’s purpose?

I approach it this way because I don’t believe you can set a goal if you don’t have an end result in mind. Goal-setting should not come before knowing what you want. The first step then, is to clarify your dreams and set your intentions. Find your life’s purpose and then figure out how to get there. That said, once your purpose is determined, goal-setting is one of the best tools to get there.

Consider both long-term and short-term goals. Many people set long-term goals and forget the middle. Long-term goals are great, but short-term goals are the ones that keep you in check and move you forward, and neglecting to set them can get you sidetracked because you have nothing to look forward to.

Try not to leave any gaps. You want to move, step to step, like stepping stones, measuring your progress along the way. Setting smaller goals helps you move toward your goal and feel accomplished without getting overwhelmed. By focusing on steps, versus leaps, you can avoid creating that static energy that typically makes people abandon their dreams.

Goals also keep you honest. If you come up with some crazy excuse as to why you haven’t accomplished your goal by the deadline, you know you’re not being truthful to your dream. You are not committed to your dream, you’re more committed to your reality.

Goals are also measurable things you can communicate to your support group — milestones to which they can hold you accountable. It’s a lot harder to give up on yourself when you have to answer to somebody.

Everybody has a different idea about what makes a “good” role model, so choose one who speaks to you and your unique purpose in life. When you’re working toward your dreams, have someone in mind whom you admire, but understand that your competition is not against that person. You don’t want to focus on being better than that person. You want to be a better version of yourself than you were yesterday, and you want to be a better version of yourself tomorrow than you were today. The competition is against you, not somebody else.

People get caught up in that. For example, in my field, some life coaches believe that if they’re not like Tony Robbins, they can’t be considered professionally successful. I admire Tony Robbins, and I want to be like him.

However, I understand that at the end of the day, I want to be me, just a little better with every day. Whether the end product makes me more famous than him or less famous than him, I don’t care. I have him as a role model because of his level of professionalism, his ever-expanding reach, and his impressive rise to success. At the same time, I know that my skills and gifts are different than his, and I don’t want to lose that.

Some people get frustrated because they compare themselves too harshly to others doing what they want to do. That can definitely sidetrack you and put you down. When you look in the mirror at night, ask “Did I do what I was supposed to do today to complete my goals? Was I true to myself?”

Use a person as a role model because he motivates you and keeps you focused, but never forget your inherent self.

In a certain light, it’s easy to believe that these opportunities just fell into their laps, like a genie in a magic lamp. However, I guarantee there are two things happening in each Law of Attraction success story, and here’s how you can approach them.

1) Awareness

First, you need to come to the realization that in order to live your life on purpose, you have to know exactly what you want. Increasing self-awareness is first thing you focus on. Everyone has a current reality in the middle of himself and his purpose. Get as clear a vision as you can of that dream.

2) Take Action

Once you have become clear on you want, then you have to develop a PLAN. There are many different methods you can take to map out the journey to your purpose. The simplest one is to just sit down and put it all on paper.

As you’re doing this, you might hear that little voice telling you that you can’t do it. We all have that voice — the one that give us all the excuses as to why we can’t possibly fulfill our dream. Instead try to block out those doubts, address that voice and find ways to circumvent the obstacles it puts in front of you. Use it as your helper, instead of simply making believe that it’s not there. When that voice comes in, let it be, and take notes. Then develop a plan, and put it into practice.

Keep in mind that the Law of Attraction is not a genie in a magic lamp, but rather a tool to help you focus your intentions. That said, it can help bring amazing opportunities into your daily life on the path to finding your true purpose.

The Doubter

It’s there 24/7 — the voice that tells us why we cannot do something or be something. It is important to recognize that there is no excuse for not moving towards your dreams, no matter what your current reality is. When it comes down to making things happen for yourself, it’s inevitable that you will hear The Doubter telling you it’s impossible. It might tell you that it’s all based on luck, or that you don’t have enough support.

From here, people often do one of two things:

1) Listen to the voice and become a victim of why you can’t live your purpose. It’s a lot easier to make an excuse and listen to that voice than become more aware and to develop a plan to move you in the right direction.

2) Pretend that you’re not listening to it and repress it. We often think it’s as easy as “blocking out” The Doubter, but without meeting it head on, we are still sub-consciously digesting those ideas.

The Distractor

In fulfilling our true purpose, one of the biggest obstacles that we face is getting sidetracked. Depending on our current reality, we can get easily distracted and end up doing something else — without any regards to our original purpose. I call this internal struggle “The Distractor.”

Take my life, for example. I quit my regular job to work on my own business full time. But as any new business owner knows, this is not an easy thing to do because I’m just starting. However, I understood that, going in. It would have been easy for me to get a job working 12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week in order to support my family, but I’d be totally forgetting my true passion for helping people as a life coach. I made the conscious decision to stay focused on the task at hand, no matter how hard it got.

How do you silence the Doubter and the Distractor?

The biggest enemies to the Doubter and the Distractor are awareness and discipline. Successful people put time and effort toward their purpose to keep it rolling and not lose track, no matter what their current situation is. The truth is, this process is hard. Maintaining focus is hard. Finding time is hard. Being patient is hard. Quieting your mind is hard.

You have to fight for what you want in life. Nothing in life worth doing is easy. You have to have faith that you’re eventually going to get there, regardless of your currently reality. If you don’t have the right mindset, it’s really easy to just settle for that reality, completely abandon your purpose, and leave this earth not completely fulfilled. Keep an optimistic and grateful attitude, and it will serve you well.

An intelligent, self-motivated man was offered a well-paying job. The catch was that he had to work overseas, and couldn’t take his family with him. Although he had to spend the majority of the year away from his family, they offered to compensate him generously. It was an offer he couldn’t refuse. And so, he decided to take the job.

Once he was officially hired, he decided to make a series of big purchases: A big house for his family to move into. A couple of luxury cars for his family to ride in. Expensive furniture and appliances so that he and his family could enjoy the home. And the best toys money could buy so that he and his family could play and have fun together. The problem was, this man would spend most of the year away from his family. Therefore, he could never enjoy his family, nor the material things that he had acquired.

One day, when he got home after being away for nine months, he noticed that things weren’t the same. His family was not happy because they couldn’t enjoy him. He wasn’t happy because he couldn’t enjoy his family. He soon realized that he had missed the whole purpose to finding true happiness and fulfillment.

When we sacrifice what we love and what truly matters, we miss the real point in life. Material things are great, but the truth is they are made to serve us, not the other way around. Acquired possessions facilitate life, but we often become slaves to them. We find ourselves working harder to pay the mortgage, car payment, etc., which takes us away from the important aspects of life. We neglect the people we should be putting our energy toward because we’re working to pay for things that have no life.

We want to associate our identity with these things because we want to belong to the status quo. Instead, spend time with people you love, doing the things that really matter to you. There’s nothing wrong with having, accomplishing, and acquiring, but you have to take care of yourself first, your true self.